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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

My Irrational Fear

I am scared of Leap Day...haha just kidding. I'm not that weird. Now, but my irrational fear is something that I have struggled with as long as I can remember, and will probably plague me for the rest of my life...woe is me. This fear (along with watching Titanic) has insured that I will never go on a cruise.

I am terrified of water...not because it is wet (I enjoy bathing, my utility bill can vouch for that) but any water that is deep enough to go over my head gives me the willies. And it's not so much the fear of water, but what could be in water that deep. It doesn't matter where I go swimming, I somehow always convince myself that there is a shark in the water, just waiting for me. Now, you may be thinking, surely this fear only extends to the beach and ocean, you know the place where sharks ACTUALLY live. Sigh, I wish. I have scrambled out of an INDOOR pool because i was convinced there was a shark lurking in the deep end. Do you have any idea how ridiculous a grown woman looks when they refuse to leave the safety of the kiddie pool?

I am fine when there are lots of other people in the pool, because I always cling to the edge anyway. And so if and when a shark shows up (trust me, one of these days it will happen) I'll be out in a jiffy and some poor sap who mistakenly thought they were safe would then get eaten. Ah, the foolish die young.

The weird thing is that I have never seen Jaws or any other shark movie, except for I accidently watched 10 minutes of Deep Blue Sea, thinking that the shark was a whale, until it bit someone's leg clean off. I quickly changed the channel after that.

Let's have a quick review...shall we?



Puddles: Safe



The Ocean: not safe...but pretty



Bathtub: safe...because the shark will always go after the rubber ducky (*note: the ocean outside is not safe)



Pool: Extremely unsafe...sharks have learned how to camoflauge themselves perfectly to the environment in a pool.



The Titanic: Extremely cheesy ending..."I'll never let go" *DUNK*!!! also taught that large boats are unsafe as well.

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